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Sunday, 29 May 2011

The Rapture, or, Throwing a party and the Guest of Honour fails to appear.


Yes, very VERY awkward, at least for the dozens or more who actually quit their jobs, spent all their money and otherwise burned their bridges.


OK, Jesus, but you DID say...


Folks, if some Yahoo who is spouting stuff he couldn't possibly know himself ALSO has a 'Donate' button on their website, well, it's rather some kinda clue, now isn't it?


Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but, I'm still here! A week later and still not a thing has occurred.
Actually, The Rapture happened but none of us were deemed worthy of being called. You might have found one of these on your front door, like I did:

I DID think about it long and hard, what if something does happen? Hmm. I decided that I'd choose to stay here on Earth. I could be a lot of help to those left behind plus some of my loved ones and dear friends most certainly would not be going anywhere. Plus, what use would I be in Heaven? No, if it's OK with God, Jesus and whomever else decides these things, leave me on Earth to help those in need. Heaven can wait, so to speak. I have Eternity.

On the other hand, I suppose if I'm going to end up in Hell, all the Texans and I can get together with my friends from the Desert and install air-conditioning.

So, the Fundies have now decided WHY there are no more dinosaurs here on Earth. No, it was NOT a gigantic comet that hit the Earth or any of that scientific nonsense, nope...


Now doesn't that just make a LOT more sense?

I hope this generated a giggle, that's why I posted on this Fête des Mères. Now I shall leave you with a lovely song that has some lush artwork/animation. Simply beautiful.



Green grass... yes, and I'm thinking the soft green spring wheat..

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, and for me, in my mind I'm sailing into the sunset...

Warm regards and calm winds from Kitty.

20 comments:

English Rider said...

All is not lost...they're doing an encore in October. This area seems to be rich in whackaddodles. Combine more money than sense, magical thinking; no science allowed and Super-Egos and this is what you get. I guess he's not as lethal as Jim Jones was but it makes me wonder about the people I meet on a daily basis. Are they Followers?

The Pliers said...

I hope that a bunch of folks ascend to wherever because that would definitely help out those who stay behind, such as yours truly, and, then, seek gainful employment. We'll have the patron groveling at our feet to get us to come to work for him. Yes!

Deborah said...

Oh Kitty, you are so funny. Fabulous wit, which doesn't seem to every desert you no matter how low you might be brought by other things. I want to steal the jokes, but might instead post this post on my Facebook wall.

The video is gorgeously done - did you just find it by chance?

Kitty said...

English Rider: What IS it that attracts the 'Granola Crowd' (fruit, nuts & flakes) to converge upon the Golden State? There seems to be more than a statistically appropriate number of wackadoodles in California, and WHY is it they all have so much cash? Does weirdness also bring wealth?

I have run into waaay more than my fair share of scary religious people whilst living in Southern California. Even more than I encountered from my college years in the Mid-West. Is it the Left Coast sunshine that forces people to take everything to excess? I don't know, maybe 'Followers' just need someone to tell them what to do, then they don't have to take responsibility for their own actions, they can blame it, later, on someone else when 'it' fails. I say 'For Heaven's sake! Think for yourself!'

Fine, if a person wishes to follow a particular belief system, then that person needs to critically analyse the entire thing and not just swallow it whole without question. ASK questions. If people say the person asking is not a 'true believer' for questioning authority, that's deflection and the people in that belief system themselves don't have a answer either. Walk away, find something else. Keep searching until a VALID answer to the questions are found.

I personally don't think Family Radio answered anyone's deep questions, sadly.

Well, if The Rapture happens in October, at least by then I'll have lost all the weight I was planning to lose. I wonder if they could just push it back a bit until I get the ol' thighs, tum & bum tightened up? That should only take another millennia....

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

Kitty said...

The Pliers: I'm not really sure I want to go spend my time with the people I've met who are hardcore fundamentalists. Dinner would be strain, but... Eternity? Now THAT would be Hell.

"Kitty, welcome to Hell. Our newspaper is The News of the World, we have Days of Our Lives and Dynasty reruns going constantly in the parlour. Please help yourself to the finger buffet of processed pasteurised American cheeses, cold cuts and Wonder bread. There is an open bar with Hamms and Boone's Farm or MD 20/20 for the Jewish contingent. We have set your room-mates in Hell to be Rush Limbaugh, your entire Third grade class from Barranca Elementary and several key note speakers from the Republican Tea Party. Now if you'll just let me give you a few dozen paper cuts between your fingers, soak your hands in lemon juice and put on this polyester double-knit power suit, we'll get started. Ready for a few hundred stanzas of 'Kum-Ba-Ya?"

I think I'd rather be working in retail...

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

Kitty said...

Deborah: Thank you! My sense of humour is my defence against what gets thrown at me. If I can make light of my situation, if I can find the humour in any situation, no matter how horrendous, I've won. It's like waving my wand and shouting 'Riddikulus!! and the Boggart turns into a loving hug and smile.

I stumbled across the video on my Facebook feed. I seldom look at most videos that my friends post, but that one caught my eye and I'm glad I listened.

(Why are we not connected on Facebook?) Feel free to post whatever you wish. Or send people here, I LOVE visitors! I'll make some cake and put the kettle on!

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

Lora said...

That CRS InfoNotice is hilarious. Love it. Thank you for that beautiful link you left with your lovely comment. Happy Memorial Day!

Kitty said...

Lora: Happy Memorial Day! Those cookies you posted are something I WILL be making very soon. I love how you did them in the shape of stars, that would make such a sweet Fourth of July dessert presentation, laid out as you did in the shape of a flag! Fun! I'm borrowing the idea, just so you know. :D

We have California poppies all over the town where I live, the California State flower. It cheers me up to see them, a bit of my past here in my present.

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

Holly said...

I was so busy working I kind of ignored the rapture business...good thing or I would have eaten a lot of cupcakes and then just had 10 extra pounds to lose when it did not happen. Thanks for the chuckle!

GaynorB said...

An uplifting post Kitty - except nobody got lifted very far!

Glad to read that your spirits have lifted and that you have it in you to laugh and make others laugh.

We are what we are, and the total of our life experiences have helped to form us. As I read in your previous post you are still able to make a very happy and fulfilled home life for your girls. At times this process is taking a great deal of your emotional energy and you have little left to spend on yourself.

Don't forget that you as a healthy rounded being is important to your family too. Hope the problems ease soon and you can continue fencing.

With very best wishes
Gaynor

Kitty said...

Holly: What I want to know is: what will there be to EAT in heaven? If they're telling me I won't NEED to eat, that my needs will already be met... well... I just have to say they obviously don't know me very well. Do we get Agas in heaven? And Sub-Zero refrigeration systems? Can we take the Bordeaux vineyards and install them in heaven? Or will it be like The Enterprise and you just say you want a 'something' and it magically materialises?

And... what will there be to DO when we're in Heaven? From the descriptions I've seen it all looks rather boring, all that harp-playing, sitting about on clouds, singing. I think that would get old really very quickly.

Have they thought this through properly?

Well, before (IF) I get called up, I'd like to have that first bedroom you showed on your site. Now THAT would be heaven!

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

Kitty said...

GaynorB: You're right, I need to take care of my own needs first. I actually do that, in a roundabout way. I recently wrote to someone else that 'you need to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help others'.

A lot of what fulfils ME is seeing my daughters happy, keeping all lines of communication open and being a GOOD parent. I'm giving my daughters a happy, safe, secure and stimulating childhood. They know that if there are any problems in their life, they can come directly to me and I will help them sort it out. Or we will figure out a way to do so as a family.

This is important to me because... I didn't have that myself as a child. And I wasn't able to give much of that to my son before he was taken away from me.

But, making sure my daughters can just be children without worry, anxiety, stress or fear causes me much joy. I'm continuing my exercise program of walking each day once more. Taking fencing again will have to wait until the Autumn, since they stop for the summer and I simply cannot practice without a Medical Certificate. My Doctor wisely says to wait until after I see the Specialist in Saint Brieuc next week. Then we'll take it from there.

Let me stress, I can look at myself in the mirror and be damn proud of the person I see smiling back at me. I have overcome incredible odds, I have lived through horrendous situations and I have been crushed more than once but I still (eventually) pick myself up, dust myself off and continue, possibly changing tact but always sailing on.

I laugh in the face of those who try to bring me down, "Ha!!" I say, "I'm still bloody here!"

Hugs and quiches from Kitty xx

Metropolitan Mum said...

You are hilarious. I am still here, too. :-)

Kitty said...

Metropolitan Mum: Thank you! If I can possibly brighten someone's day, then I feel I've accomplished something and that really pleases me.

Kinda like when I fall into bed at night and run through my 'I'm grateful for:'
My hot shower
My flush toilet
Indoor plumbing (yeah, well, priorities of those who live in rural France, trust me on this.)
Everyone was fed today
The girls made it to school and back and to school and back on time (they walk home for lunch)
Homework is finished for tomorrow
Housework is done (enough) and so the house is (reasonably) tidy
No one bled (too much) from open wounds
Everyone is still speaking to each other
I am still in command of my mental facilities
I love and am loved in return

Then I send love and blessings out to those I adore, those who are no longer with us and friends and family wherever they are. Then I can fall asleep with a smile on my face because, I'm still here! And with any luck, I still will be tomorrow!

Hugs and quiches from Kitty x

imbeingheldhostage said...

You generated more than a giggle-- I'm wearing a huge grin now, thank you. I love that "awkward" billboard!

Kitty said...

I'm Being Held Hostage: Hurrah! Big grins are great!

I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing what happens in October on the 21st. Because, ooops, Harold Camping didn't get the date wrong, oh no. We've all been Spiritually judged, but like making Jell-O or jelly, you need to wait awhile before you get the end product. One cannot rush these things.

*Supposedly* on 21 October 2011 we will have The Final Judgement of Mankind. On that day the heavens will open, the Earth will be rent in two, everything will be destroyed by fire, the Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride and there will be lots of other Hollywood-style CGI stuff. Mr. Camping has assured us that the destruction will be swift. Good, I hate suffering.

Tell you what, it won't stop me from buying green bananas on the 20th.

This is a funny website that discusses the 'Chicken Littles' of the past and their predictions. http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm

Remember to keep smiling! It's great for your health and even better for the soul. Might as well play it safe, eh? ;)

Hugs and quiches from Kitty

la fourchette said...

Oh this was too funny! Just the giggle I needed. And that song! Wow! The world needs more of that and less of the doomsday kooks!

Thanks for your sweet comment over at La Fourchette. It's always lovely to see you and I've been very remiss about getting out and about in the blog-o-sphere. Your little nudge was just perfect.

Merci, ma belle.

Leslie

Kitty said...

La Fourchette: I am SO glad it made you smile! We all need to remember to take time out and laugh, really belly laugh if we can, as often as possible.

I've been rather busy of late as well, and have not had the time to just stop and spend time reading. I'm trying to focus on keeping my living environment calm and tidy, stay on top of the exercise routine plus continue reducing my excess lbs. Slow and steady does the trick.

But spending time on ME is just as important as the other things, so, I now set aside an hour every morning and evening and stick my head in to see how everyone is doing and comment, if it seems appropriate.

Keep grounding yourself, keep getting out into your lovely Provence and let's see some more images! I've never visited your region but I can through your lovely vignettes of Provençal life.

Hugs and quiches from Kitty xx

Cares and Mimi said...

Kitty, You left such a sweet comment on our blog yesterday, I had to come here to check out your space. You are such a hoot! You are raw and strong, and certainly a wonderful example to your girls about pushing through. Never letting the 'yuck' of the world shove too hard before you plant your feet and resist to take anything but goodness into your life.

Loved virtually visiting with you today! Cares

Kitty said...

Cares and Mimi: I LOVE your Blog! You have such a wide-ranging selection of subjects you both touch upon, it's been fun poking my nose in and seeing what you make and do. I wish my rhubarb I planted had come up, I think the frost killed it off, I'd love to make that Rhubarb Compote or that Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble from your site. I guess I'll just have to break down and BUY rhubarb this year!

Heh! It's for my children, not me, honest! (Well, maybe a spoonful...)

But who is Boots!? And why are they tempting me with an 'Apple Maple Bacon Donut'... I mean, seriously? 'Apple Maple Bacon Donut? That's like all Four Food Groups right there! Well, to finish that off you'd NEED a glass of milk, right? :D

(I used to be a night baker for Winchell's Donuts when I was at Uni in California. I know doughnuts!)

Hugs and quiches from Kitty x

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