I also have this great parallel world I inhabit with The Man I Love. I don't spend my entire life there, but it helps me when I'm feeling vulnerable. I can imagine his strong arms around me, I can bury my face into his chest and feel safe. And loved.
Then I return to reality and face what I need to face. A bit stronger. Not quite so alone.
How was your week?
Mine just flew by. I had a houseful of both girls' school friends running about, chattering in French, playing hide & seek or 'cache-cache', creating 'forts, dens and cabins' and munching on my proffered baked goodies while drinking big mugs of hot chocolate. It was great, I really loved it. Everyone was happy and the sound of laughter rang through the place all week. Brilliant.
I decided to allow my Sour Cream Streusel Coffeecake recipe to have an affair with my Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe and they created a Cupcake/Muffin Love Child. The smell was intoxicating coming straight out of the oven. The top had caramelised into this buttery caramel crust. I tried it. It was.... unbelievable... so... I ended up eating three more. And two more today. Which just proves I can't be trusted alone in a kitchen with my own baked goods.
No... now that you've asked, they aren't in the LEAST Dukan friendly. I still tracked them on my Livestrong My Plate thing. Then skipped dinner. And took a very long walk. And did a LOT of these 'Butt Busting' exercises.
I'm not posting the recipe because you'll hate me. Plus, a woman has to have SOME secrets, you know....
(If you know me in real life, and ask nicely, I'll bake some for you. But you have to come pick them up.)
Today's quote is really good, so, I want to share it with you:
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson MandelaI still have many, many fears. The fear that I will die alone, forgotten, in poverty. The fear that I won't be able to provide for my children. The fear that I will fail. The fear that I'll never be forgiven for mistakes I've made. And probably the worst fear of all: the fear that my best just isn't good enough.
I live with these fears. They can never control me, but, they still sneak out from time to time and torment me. But by naming them, I take away some of their control and power over me. My fears can never stop me from laughing, can never stop me from enjoying my now, my present. I know they'll still be around tomorrow, I know I can never completely get rid of them all. But, that's OK with me. I can laugh at myself. Laughter is a very powerful weapon in my arsenal.
The fear I will always be fat, obese, ugly, unhealthy and un-sexy is gone. My silhouette is normal, now. Even though the weight loss has slowed down considerably, it is still happening. I look OK without clothes, I don't shudder looking at myself in a mirror. Yes, I am super-duper flabby; you don't go from a lifetime high of over 21 stones down to under 13 without looking like a deflated blimp, this is true. I know I need to focus on toning up, but that's going to be a very long and ongoing process. I have lots of muscles that have been asleep for years. So, I'm starting gradually.
|Sting - Brand New Day...|
I hope you have a fabulous week!
Hugs and quiches from Kitty x