Because life is ephemeral.
Just like these blooms captured around our garden, it will fade away.
The cycle of birth, death and rebirth is fixed in the seasons and is a sure, steady reminder that nothing stays the same, the only real constant is change.
Just remember: You get exactly what you settle for.
If there is nothing we can do about change, then, might as well enjoy the ride, correct?
The Springtime flowers, brief though they may be, are glorious.
Love, true love, however, is constantly changing, developing and undying and even if it burns down to just a small hidden flame, it is still there. It still exists.
So love deeply, whatever or whomever you choose as you heart's desire. But give it all you have. It's one of the best things about being human, and being alive.
When God was passing out Lives, why did I have to stand in the "Seriously Complicated, Mostly Unfulfilled, Often Stressful but Ultimately Character-Building" queue? I'm guessing I was busy reading a book and wasn't paying attention....
I didn't post last Friday, I had a week before of seriously bad food choices, stress, complications and emotional eating. I could have blamed it on 'hitting a plateau', but, that's not honest. I went overboard on sugar and fat and carbohydrates and just didn't want to bother forcing myself to get my trainers on and go for a walk, and well, it showed. Nothing budged. So, nothing gained but the weight stayed the same, last week.
THIS week, however, I saw improvement, real and right there on the scales.
THIS week I buckled down and started walking with a friend every evening for an hour. She is a little fireball, being Brazilian, and will walk for hours at a rapid rate if allowed. I have to make sure I am well warmed up and have taken Paracetamol before we meet up or I'm limping halfway through. Still, it's great exercise, I've lost another kilogram and my clothes are now seriously loose on me. Its fun, taking things out of boxes which I have not been able to wear since 2004-2005 and finding they not only fit well, but are in some cases actually no longer tight. Hurrah!
In a few more kilos, I will be down to the lightest weight I have ever been here in France. I forget exactly how light I became, I'll have to go dig it out from my old Blog.
The very biggest differences this time around are I have a handle on my depression, I no longer feel vulnerable and completely alone. I refuse to allow myself to be taken advantage of again. I know I face challenges, but, I have skills and methods to handle them now. My health is improving, I am well-ensconced in the way of life here in France and my daughters are having a joyous childhood. And, I like myself. I'm proud of what I've achieved. For once I can say 'I am happy in my skin!' These are things mere money cannot purchase.
Plus... this time around... I have hope. I live in hope.
Everything happens, and everything doesn't always have a reason for WHY it has happened, but, happen it will. Once I accepted that, life seemed a bit less mean. Life seems now to be just that: a life. I can do with it as I choose, it is all my doing, no one else's. I am making this journey alone, regardless of who is around me. I will enjoy this life to the fullest extent. I hope all of you will as well.
It's your choice.
In Hope. x
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13 comments:
No question about who's in charge, and happy about it. Great times ahead.
Good going! Take one Bunny Stamp and debit my account!
Kitty, I salute your gutsiness - and your honesty. And that fact that while you've had some very rough times, you never come across as a victim.
Having the patience to go through this slow process of getting back to You is admirable - you are an inspiration.
(You look terrific in the photo - I'm thinking I'm mistaken about your age, which is obviously at least 10 years younger than I thought.)
ER: Oftentimes, in the past, I have relinquished the control of my life to others, and not been fully culpable for what happened around me nor TO me. That is something which will not occur again. The observation that I am fully in charge and completely responsible for what happens next is true and valid.
I am not a sailor, I am The Captain of this ship.
Good times ahead, indeed, and more to be revealed very soon!
Bisouxxx, Kitty
Lee: All I could come up with was crafty bunny stamping things requiring ink and rubber pads? Can you explain "Bunny Stamp"?
I'm obviously just not creative enough today... :)
Kind regards, Kitty
Deborah: I never want to be seen, or considered, as a victim. Stuff happens; how we deal with it is the measure of our character and our personality.
Every morning the sun rises afresh and with that dawn I decide what to bring forward, and what I will shed, discard and repudiate to the past. I must think this way, if not, I could spiral down into a deep pit of despair. But allowing that to happen to myself again would also be a choice; a choice I refuse to entertain as I'm going forward in my life.
You are so sweet with the 'age comment', bless you! The oil painting in the attic may look much older (wink) but I am very proudly 53.
I have no problem telling people my real age, and I also have no problem being mistaken for much younger!
Bisouxxx, Kitty
What a beautiful an uplifting post. I am so happy to hear that you are enjoying your life - you are one great and courageous woman, moving to France and all that...
And yes, i did mistake you for being much younger, too :-)
Hi Kitty,
I tried posting earlier and having written a screed when I hit the button it said it was unable to carry out my request - had I copied the text, had I hell as like.
So here goes again.
Now back from 3 glorious weeks in LBF. Can't remember a better spring. On the way down the fields were bright yellow with dandelions, a week later all flowers gone. Cowslips by the thousand and the best flowers on wisteria I've ever seen.
Who would have thought we would be eating our evening meal outside and at times during the day going indoors to get out of the sun!
Your postings always inspire me. No matter what life has thrown at you you always come up smiling at adversity. Long may you continue to get the life you want and deserve. I'm waiting with baited breath to read what the good news will be.
I was tempted a bit away from my diet. Is it possible to be in France and not eat bread and cheese. No. A few naughties but not as many as I used to fall prey to.
Stepped on the scales this morning with fear that the weight would have gone up a bit but to my astonishment, despite the treats, I had actually lost another pound.
Keep smiling it's the best thing to do - if nothing else it get's everyone else wondering what the hell you're grinning at.
Best wishes.
Pip
Better copy this before hitting the button - just in case!!!
Success but it took 2 more attempts.
Metropolitan Mum: Thank you for the compliment! From time to time in the past I've thought instead of courageous I was more likely just dumb as a bag of hammers for moving here as I did. But that pile I fell in turned out to be good for fertiliser, so, I've used it as such! :D
Certainly it's made for some great story-telling so far.
Please send my love to your side of The Channel, I miss living in London, sometimes, so very much.
Hugs and quiches from Kitty xx
Pip: I'm so glad you are tenacious! It's a Life Skill in great need when living over here!
This Spring HAS been glorious, I agree! Even though we have the leftover storm systems from the USA raining down on us at the moment, it's still lovely and gentle; the hail and winds are gone and we have gentle showers keeping the landscape green and verdant.
Well done on resisting enough to be able to still drop a pound! Not much longer and you'll be able to add that cheese back, in moderation. Boy, I'll be taking full opportunity of the Celebration meals, when they finally come!
I've decided to drop another 18-20kg, then I'll be within a safe and healthy BMI range. I also know THIS will be the hardest uphill slog; my body already does NOT want to give up anymore of it's fat stores. I'll just have to keep reminding it who is in charge!
Kind regards, Kitty
Living close to vegetation has done wonders for my spirit as well. Keep up the good work, ma'am, and eat plenty of fruit and insects.
Gorilla Bananas: Thank you for coming over to visit me. I adore marine insects or crustaceans such as soft-shell crab, prawns, lobster and the like and I'm rather partial to the bounty found in rivers, like crayfish.
I think there's nothing better for the spirit than a nice walk, barefoot, through grass. Couple that with a walk next to the Ocean and I'm in heaven!
Happy weekend!
Kind regards, Kitty
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